


My Step-Brother My Boyfriend and Me

by merkintosh



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 15:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11970360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: Kurt adapts to the Hudson invasion of his home and heart.





	My Step-Brother My Boyfriend and Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before season two even aired when Sam was just a rumor and a potential boyfriend for Kurt. And then everything changed before an episode even aired, lol.

By the end of the summer before their junior year, Kurt is pretty damn certain that his embarrassing crush on Finn is completely gone. His dad and Carole had decided to give moving in together one more try – only they have to do two incredibly embarrassing months of family counseling first with this strange, balding guy who smelled like boiled cabbage. After having to listen and nod at phrases like “boundaries,” “verbalising emotions,” “peer pressure,” and blah blah blah, Kurt hated everyone in the room including himself. Then Finn and Carole do move in and sure Finn wasn't in the basement anymore, but Kurt couldn't walk around upstairs without a reminder that Finn was absolutely disgusting. He left his shoes and his gym bag and his dirty clothes and plates everywhere. He actually found a cereal bowl in the shower once. And then Kurt could hear him give his stupid snorting laugh when he watched the stupidest movies, or playing video games in his room with the sound turned high, or listening to Def Leopard. If all boys were like Finn, Kurt was seriously considering never dating and forever maintaining his close relationship with Vogue.

Things settled down during the first half of junior year though. They were back in school and the daily reminder of just how despised they actually were made Kurt and Finn grow into a kind of awkward camraderie. It was glee club against the world in a way and you couldn't help but be fond of someone who had your back (and was willing to help you clean up after a vicious slushie attack). It helped that Finn spent a lot of time at Rachel's house doing straight people things and taking all his 80's rocker music with him. 

And then there was Sam who joined glee early on in the year. Kurt had thought he was attractive at first, but he wasn't about to fall down the hopeless straight crush road so soon after Apocalypse Finn. He kept things cordial while reminding himself that it was only two more years until he was out of Lima. But then it turned out that Sam wasn't quite as straight as Kurt thought and Sam was soon vacillating between liking girls and liking boys as if he was a ping pong ball, before asking Kurt questions about what to do. Kurt liked telling people what to think and do anyways so he took Sam under his wing and got him straightened out. Or not, really, since it turned out Sam was very very gay and by Christmastime, very into Kurt.

Kurt soon found out that most boys actually were like Finn as Sam was just as awful about picking up after himself and spent a ridiculous amount of time playing Halo and Modern Warfare. Kurt learned to compromise his principles though and gave into Sam's need for stupid boy things like watching Judd Apatow films or listening to Bon Jovi because Kurt soon realized that Vogue magazine may satisfy his sartorial needs, but Sam liked to give him blowjobs whenever he gave in and watched a movie starring Seth Rogen. Kurt was growing fond of Seth Rogen and for the next ten years, he grew irrationally aroused everytime he saw a movie trailer with him in it.

So Kurt was over Finn, but that didn't stop him from having a little bit of a mancrush on the boy. It started around Thanksgiving when the house was crowded with Hudson and Hummel relatives. There was a football game playing and during halftime every bathroom upstairs was occupied just as Kurt had to go. Sighing, he rushed downstairs in the hopes that he'd make it to his bathroom before he embarrassed himself and barged into his bathroom only to see Finn already peeing at the toilet. Shocked, Finn turned around and Kurt gasped, wide-eyed when his brain caught up with his sight and reminded him that Finn in front of him holding his dick.

“I, uh, I just – I had to...” Kurt couldn't managed to get a sentence out, “Sorry!” he said as he shut the door. As soon as Finn was out of sight, Kurt covered his burning face with his hands and gave a nervous laugh. He had seen Finn's dick and in one of the many ways Finn had yelled at him about before that sent Finn spiraling into a homo-panic. He just hoped that Finn was truly over it like he said he was because Kurt didn't know what to do otherwise.

He also didn't know what to do about the fact that he had actually seen Finn's penis. After years of wondering, he finally knew what it looked like. And it was fucking huge. Finn had a freaking pornodick and Kurt wasn't even interested anymore. When Finn finally got out of the bathroom and the two of them went through their usual awkward “No really, I'm over my stupid crush/impulsive homophobia; let's just be friends who sideways hug” thing, Kurt rushed into the bathroom and was amazed to realize that the only thing he wanted to do after finding out Finn had a monstercock was tell Mercedes so they could watch together to see if Rachel ever came to school walking bowlegged. 

He also wondered what it would be like if he was as big as Finn. He probably wouldn't be able to wear skinny jeans to school anymore without Principal Figgins giving him a lecture on modesty or something and he'd probably hurt himself running, but he couldn't help but be a little impressed at Finn's genetics. To be honest, if he had what Finn had, Kurt would probably have told everyone by now by yelling it from the rooftops or through a robocall if only to get one up on the bullies at school. Kurt liked to imagine that they would stop throwing him into dumpsters because he could tell them that he wasn't wearing underwear that day and they might touch his dick if they lifted him up by the knees.

The accidental flashing was another turning point in Kurt and Finn's relationship largely because it didn't become a big deal. Finn was too busy with Rachel and Kurt was fully involved in Sam's sexual crisis throughout December, not leaving any space for awkwardness. It also wasn't the last time, as they adjusted to living in a house with four people in it instead of just two. Kurt liked that the house was fuller though, even if he desperately tried not to catch Finn naked from the waist down anymore if only because the giant pornodick made him a little insecure. This didn't stop from occasionally fantasizing about Finn's dick when he masturbated, though. He was over Finn, but he wasn't dead after all.

Kurt started to really enjoy his junior year after winter break. Sure, he had had Glee and Cheerios before and the bullying had decreased as he spent more time around Coach Sylvester. But having a boyfriend was a brand new experience for Kurt in every way. He sort of threw himself into dating, loving having someone in his life who wanted to be around him all the time. Sam was a great boyfriend and they probably went a bit overboard at first with the gooey couple things like handholding and making out, but everything was just so new. Kurt hadn't realized he had been starving until he was overly full.


End file.
